Health Program (3): Being New Men And Critical Women

By: Salsa Bila Sogo, S.Mat.          

On this occasion, Suara Perempuan Alor or abbreviated as Super Alor had the opportunity to share its experiences with the training participants. Suara Perempuan Alor is one of the NGOs concerned with assisting victims of violence cases. Since December 2021 SuperAlor received 3 complaints of violence cases. Mariam Lanmay, S.Mat, the secretary of Super Alor told the up and down of Super Alor. The initiators of Super Alor were CD Bethesda, Gamki, Untrib Kalabahi Lecturer, Soe Women's Voice Studio, and on-campus and off-campus organizations.

The material presented in this training is violence in dating. Dating is interpreted as a process of introduction between two individuals, namely a man and a woman who love each other before being bound in a marriage. It turned out that violence often occurred in the dating process. Dating violence is all forms of violence that can be in the form of physical, verbal, or sexual violence.


Physical violence comes in form of beatings, verbal violence occurs in form of saying dirty sentences or yelling at a partner, then, financial violence such as using a partner's finances for extravagance, psychological violence comes in the form of threats, and intimidation and the last is sexual violence. The driving factors of violence in dating are misunderstandings about dating, the myth that men have a greater sex drive so that feelings of love must be proven by having sex, and efforts to control women.

Here are some ways to avoid violence in a relationship, are, dare to say no when other people want to do violence in any form, appreciate our bodies because we have power over our bodies, emphasize the meaning of healthy dating, and be ourselves. Dating should be a beautiful time, if it is a dark period it is called colonialism. If your partner dares to beat and curse during dating, it will be better to think about separation. There is no love in violence, and there is no violence in love. Violence in dating is the seed of domestic violence and marriage is not a rehabilitation institution for perpetrators of violence.

The speaker reminded the participants to have a healthy relationship by becoming new men and critical women. New men are those who do not use old thinking, not considering themselves as superior but using both feelings and logic in their actions, and understanding women as human beings just like them, no violence and not considering women as sexual objects. Then, the critical women must be independent, recognizing their strength and weakness, expressing her opinion freely, and learning to establish an equal relationship, protecting and supporting each other, giving freedom to partners, trusting and supporting each other with positive things. ***


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